The Square Within the Square
I’ve recently started seeing an NLP therapist, who recommended a beginner’s guide for me to check out. While I’m not quite done reading, the biggest takeaway for me so far has been this principle: “The person with the most flexibility in a system influences the system.”
So for example, let’s say you’re a parent constantly arguing with your disgruntled teenager. You try reasoning with them, disciplining them or just straight out ignoring them. But nothing does the trick. Finally, you sit them down and admit the truth. “Listen,” you say, “I really don’t know what I’m doing here. I’m trying to figure out this parenting thing just as much as you’re trying to figure out this life thing.” To your surprise, you both breathe a sigh of relief. Because you put down your mask, so do they. You have a conversation based on a shared truth, instead of divisive roles.
Or take another example: Say you have a son who is constantly throwing tantrums. There they are splayed on the floor, flailing their arms and legs, screaming bloody murder. One day, instead of resorting to your usual impotent tactics, you grab your metal pans and join them. Except you can definitely outscream them. Your child looks at you in utter disbelief, too shocked to get another whimper out. He knows he’s been defeated at his own game. The tantrums end that day.
So, I ask you to make a leap with me and ponder, what energy is evoked when you think of a square angle aspecting a square angle? Perhaps you think of entrapment or stuckness. But is it possible that the energy of the two squares neutralizes or cancels each other out? This is what I’ve been pondering as transiting Pluto (planet of transformation and rebirth) has been squaring my natal Pluto, which happens to itself be in a tight square to my natal Mars (assertion and drive).
While squares are traditionally considered to be tense or challenging aspects - and I won’t disagree that I’ve had my share of issues with egoic drive - I have learned to look at this transit with greater flexibility. Mars, symbolizing my personal egoic drive has, over time, become more and more aligned with Pluto, or my soul’s evolutionary goals. During transit, it has dawned on me very clearly that my personal will has become so subsumed to universal will that egoic assertion has become a moot point. The square within a square has freed me of the tension of the square.
The utterly loveable Jesuit priest, Anthony De Mello defined enlightenment as ‘absolute cooperation with the inevitable.’ How do you know you’re awake? You go gladly where you must go and joyfully do what you must do. You give up the pretense of being the one in control. You have so much flexibility in your thinking that you allow your soul, instead of your ego, to run the show. And boy do you influence the system!
References
Neurolinguistic Programming for Dummies by Romilla Ready and Kate Burton
Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality by Anthony De Mello