How to Let Go (It's Easier Than You Think)
I didn’t understand how to let go until I discovered the Sedona Method. I could train myself to stop thinking about guys that weren’t into me or to not bring painful memories to mind, but I knew there had to be more to it than that.
The analogy that Hale Dwoskin, a well known teacher of the method uses is the sensation of letting go of a pen in your hand. You don’t need to think about it, you just drop it.
If you observe a baby for long enough, you will see a whole spectrum of emotions surfacing, being expressed and moving through without resistance. The e-motions, or energies in motion, flow in and out with ease. As we grow older, however, we are often conditioned to suppress, act out or hang on to our emotions. We forget that we can also let them go. While we may experience letting go in moments when we finally give up resistance, we don’t have to wait until we’re forced to let go. We can just consciously drop our struggle.
And this is what Lester Levenson, Hale’s initial teacher (and one of the most enlightened beings to grace this Earth), tried endlessly to communicate in his forty years of teaching. Yet his students, who were more ego-identified, were unable to accept that it could be so easy. So, they devised a method of questions to trick the mind into letting go. That method is now taught all around the world and evolved into many variations, but the original questions have essentially remained the same.
The first question is: What are you feeling at this moment? Here, do your best to feel the feeling in your body as best as you can, staying away from trying to analyze it with your mind.
The second question is: Could you welcome or allow that feeling? Answer as honestly as you can. Perhaps you can partially welcome it in or not at all. Both yes and no are acceptable answers.
The third question is: Could you let it go? Again, be honest and know that yes and no are both acceptable answers. These last two questions are really two sides of the same coin. They are merely asking you if it is possible to take these actions. Perhaps you don’t feel it’s possible to fully welcome or let go of the emotion. The technique works just as well either way.
The fourth question is: Would you let it go? Or put another way, if you had the option, the freedom or the choice to let it go, would you? It doesn’t matter whether the feeling has been here for a long time or whether you feel righteous or justified in carrying it. It also doesn’t matter if you don’t want to let it go. Simply answer as honestly as you can, without second guessing and with a simple yes or no. If the answer is “no,” or if you are not sure, you can ask yourself: “Would I rather have this feeling, or would I rather be free?”
The final question is: When would you let it go? This question is not intended for you to get out your scheduling calendar and choose an appropriate time in the distant future, but really an invitation to just let it go now. If the answers that come to mind are more like: tomorrow, some other day or preferably never, that’s okay too. You will notice a release either way.
As you pose these questions, your only job is to answer honestly and with a minimum of thought and debate. Again, both yes and no are acceptable answers, since the answers aren’t important in themselves but simply meant to bring you to the experience of letting go.
Whatever your response, move on to the next step. If your mind wanders, simply bring it back to the process. As you see the benefits of the technique, it will become easier to choose to let go. It’s okay if you are not feeling a physical response each time you release or if you feel like the releases are happening on a mental level at first. With time, you will attune to an unmistakable flow that lets you know you are on the right track.
And believe me, I get it if you have reservations. This technique seemed ridiculously simple and gimmicky to me too. But it works.
As you let go, you will come to see that our range of challenging emotions (what the method categorizes as AGFLAP or apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger and pride) are themselves fueled by three core attachments: the desire for approval and disapproval, the desire for love and rejection and the desire for control and to be controlled.
These universal attachments in turn arise from a feeling of separation from Source, which creates a push-pull tension between our egoic desire to stay separate and our soul’s longing for unity. But luckily, this inner resistance, which the Buddha identified as the core cause of suffering, is also something we can let go of. Thus, being able to let go, to surrender and to see through the illusion of control and separation is the key to awakening.
I could say a lot more about all this and in fact I have, in my Insight Timer course, Letting Go With Tarot, but suffice to say, letting go can be simple, easy and life-changing.
Why that name? Through my journey, I came to see that the Fool’s journey of the Major Arcana and the awakening journey we call life both involved a tremendous amount of letting go. So my North Node in Gemini (geared to make spiritual teachings accessible) decided to shout it from the rooftops.
But you certainly don’t need a course or a book to let go. Just try it out and see for yourself. Who knows, you too might be singing the praises of surrender to strangers on the internet one day.
References
The Sedona Method by Hale Dwoskin
Letting Go: The Sedona Method Movie by Hale Dwoskin
Happiness is Free: And It’s Easier Than You Think by Lester Levenson
Letting Go With Tarot is my ten day audio course combining the magical amulet of letting go with the Fool’s journey to awakening
S.O.S for Releasing Challenging Emotions is one of many letting go Aura meditations I’ve created. You can enjoy a free Aura trial membership here.